By Minister Moses – September 2011
On the power of association Colin Powell, former US Secretary of State, says – “Friends that don’t help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don’t increase you will eventually decrease you”.
Mr Powell’s poignant remarks highlight the extent to which other people can influence our lives. People are the bridges, and sometimes the blockades to our future. So it seems pretty obvious therefore that to be the best we have to choose our associations with care.
But that’s not the whole story.
There is a danger that we can develop a skewed approach to this principle, where we become preoccupied with spending too much time and energy trying to build an ever widening social or professional network in the hope of climbing the proverbial ladder.
Invariably this culture of ceaseless networking more often than not ends up with us seeing people as simply means to our own ends, as notches on our Contacts List, what I like to call ‘business card associates’ – names, logos and telephone numbers to whom we actually matter very little and vice versa.
Paul the Apostle however suggests an alternative approach to networking when he writes to the church in Rome, “I long to see you so that I may impart some spiritual gift to make you strong –that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith” (Rom 1:11-12). Paul acknowledges the great reciprocal value that can be gleaned from tending to the networks and relationships we already have.
We often miss out on the marvellous gifts hidden within the unique identities of the people that God has already placed us around. We underestimate and disregard the potentially powerful influence of family, friends and everyday colleagues. This attitude, however, only serves to exclude us from identifying and receiving the best from them. Jesus, for example, despite his inherent power, was unable to do any miraculous work in his home town of Nazareth because everyone was so familiar with him (Mark 6).
Have you ever underestimated a person only to one day be surprised (and perhaps embarrassed) when they make an unexpected and priceless contribution to you? How many more people might we have overlooked and even fallen out with over trivial matters assuming that they were of little or no significance to us?
I urge you to pause. Take a fresh look at those around you and reassess your attitude toward them. This will help you in recognising their true inner beauty and worth.
The prodigal son described in Luke 15 is one such individual who failed to see the value of the relationships he already had. His flaw was to see his father as simply a means to an end, thus he demanded his inheritance immediately so he could go his own merry way. He then set out to a distant country leaving behind a heart–broken father (his existing network) in search of new friends elsewhere, over where the grass was supposedly greener (a new network). His sojourn sadly ended in dire circumstances and none of the citizens of that country (members of his new network) could help him.
Fortunately for our friend he eventually finds his light bulb of wisdom, at the bottom of a pig’s trough:
How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!”
Suddenly he began to see the kindness, generosity and all the positive values in his fathers’ character that up till now he had been blind to. He realised that he didn’t need new friends from a faraway land or a greater network because all he ever needed was at home, freely supplied via the relationships he already enjoyed.
His father’s reaction to his eventual return confirmed this; ‘But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him…the father said to his servants, “Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.’ (v. 22 & 23)
Ironically, the prodigal son found all that he was looking for in the very network he had abandoned!
Similarly, it’s interesting to note that the supposedly ‘good and obedient’ brother who had remained behind at home was also blind to his father’s true worth. He, just like his prodigal brother, never quite enjoyed the generosity of his father in spite of being right under the same roof.
‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.’ He complained.
And yet his father responded; ‘my son… you are always with me, and everything I have is yours…’
What a stark reality! Most of us are already incredibly close to those that can help us most, but we fail to see it. Concentrate on your network within. Mend relationships that have broken down, tend to those you undervalue – you may find that what you are looking for is already surrounding you!
MM
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